But mind the VP
By Michael Leaverton
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
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At the start of The Dick & Dubya Show, President Bush takes the stage, talking about Netflix and his plans to travel to
liberal enclaves in order to swing voters. It's an SNL-like exercise, with Amos Glick playing George close to the vest,
mimicking our leader's quirks with a minimum of fuss. Then he starts Fallujan throat-singing, and everything shifts:
Ed Holmes' Vice President Cheney appears onstage, gruffly adjusting his suit, informing George that it's Tuvan throat-singing
and patiently correcting his boss' many errors in fact and speech. Holmes is a wonder, a dead ringer for the second in command.
The pair open with a prayer ("Bow your fucking heads," the VP orders the audience), and then engage the crowd in a town hallÐtype
revival Ñ Bush innocent and frustrated, Cheney spiteful and pissed Ñ while occasionally breaking into song. Along the way Dick
jams his fist up the president's ass, tends to a minor heart attack, and leads Dubya through his vocabulary exercises with
the aid of electroshock cables hooked to the presidential nipples. When Cheney requires the assistance of an audience member,
he's pure viciousness: He shakes a man's hand, locks on, and drags him onstage.
An unexpected perk of Dick & Dubya is its venue's location: Berkeley, whose residents typically talk to Republican leaders only through bullhorns aimed over the shoulders of cops. And what do Berkeleyans ask a fake president in a satirical show? During the Q&A sessions, one young woman, who looked like she really wanted an answer, inquired about Bush's education plan; another demanded his take on global warming. Finally someone returned to Earth and wondered if the president was drinking again, allowing the players a nice shot at improv: "He's been on the sauce for months," Cheney said, plugging Bush's ear. |